K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
