I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
