Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
