i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
