I can't watch pbs sober anymore
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
