i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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