for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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