Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
