Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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