Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
