I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
