I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he thought i was a dude.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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