I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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