I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
