Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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