There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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