Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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