My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
