it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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