last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
