This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
