I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
