She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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