Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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