...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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