i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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