Your dad touched me again.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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