i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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