I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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