You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
