whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
