I want to stick my p in your. b.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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