Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
