We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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