i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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