So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
