i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
