She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i've created a new STD.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
