I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
