Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
