where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
