WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
