speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
