Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
