I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
