I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
