at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
