would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
