sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
