I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
