So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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