I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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