Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
