dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize