Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
