some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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