Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
