so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
