she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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