i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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