the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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