I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
